காதலில் விழுந்தேன்

என்னை காதலிக்க அவளை சிரிக்கவைத்தேன்
சிரித்த ஒவ்வொரு முறை காதலில் விழுந்தேன்
நான்.

The science behind "Pickup, Drop and escape"

I always have experienced difficulties to maintain a decent, modest, harmonious relationship with the opposite gender

My brain : What about your mother and sister ?
Me: well yeah they are exceptions. 

I have no such troubles with my male friends
My brain : Oho!! i guess you are hinting on something else here. You have always been conventional why change now :P
Me: i being a virgin prefer to stay straight and this post is not about that....and will you shutup and let me type this *stop*

so coming back to my struggle in maintaining a relationship with a girl, right from school days i have always doubted on my capabilities to successfully carry on my interaction/relationship (which i have not achieved) with girls i know (My brain: very few indeed. ur success rate is terribly low. Ha ha :d)

I never took it very seriously until recently when i realised that how terribly i have failed. nevertheless it is not too late now. My point is it is not only about me but about the space i share with women.

I have always found women very amusing (My brain: you're no extraordinary Gentleman! least of all a very common 'gentle'man). They are very gentle, kind, shrewd and caring. Going by Darwin's theory, they are the more stronger gender and more dependable gender. All evolutionary indicators point out this fact very clearly.

Their strong and deep limbic system, helps them to be in strong touch and control with their emotions and makes it easier for women to express their feelings and emotions. That is why a mother's care is more instinctive. This deeper limbic systems enhances their non verbal communication skills like eye contacts, body language, empathy, tone of voice, more intuitive implications etc (which men easily miss to recognise)  making them better communicators and helping them to bond with others. Which is why mothers can identify easily whats wrong with their babies.

Men on the other hand have generally a feeble and less reactive limbic system which makes them terrible communicators. (no wonder my friend dint understand what his girlfriend implied. Cant blame him!!!)

Nature is very prejudiced in providing them with more hormones to tackle stress and depression. Oxytocin released by the brain to counteract on depression is enhanced by Estrogens (female sex hormones) while its male counterpart Testosterone neutralises Oxytocin making male more vulnerable to stress and depression.  That is why men prefer "Fight or Flight" strategy colloquially "Pickup, drop, Escape" strategy of 'gentle'men.

This strong limbic system also enhances their capability to subside the effects of testosterone whenever they want to. For example during pregnancy they release Pheromones which when sensed by male brain reduces the testosterone production and increases his prolactin secretion (hormone acting against sexual arousal in males while stimulates mammary glands for lactation in females)

Highly unfair!!! Men should start protesting for Gender inequality. Females have super scientific methods of controlling us (apart from of course conventional tears)

Men on the other hand have 10% extra brain mass (but it has got hardly anything to do with intelligence and it proportionates only to the physical mass). Inspite of having higher mass, they have lesser dendritic connections between the neurons which enables them to be dominantly left brain dependent. That is why males are more analytical and more pragmatic. They react faster to visible disturbances than to more subtler disturbances (A strong weapon for women to misguide male)

Look at this situation 'My friend's girlfriend was crying and he got immediately tensed and wanted to solve all her problems. She is crying as she talks about what's wrong with the relationship, and instead of hugging her, his mind is racing to find a way to resolve the problem as soon as possible. With practice and because of the way their brains are wired, he used his analytical brain structures, not his emotional ones, to find a solution.' Poor she, she dint know that he is working to solve the problem so he can relieve her pain as quickly as possible. Not because he doesn't care or doesn't want to listen, but because he loves her.'

Having all these positive traits i have always wondered why women did not have a greater social impact (well they do have to some extent). But conceivably and historically males have been very successful be it scientific inventions, art and architecture, philosophy, religion, literature etc... until the dawn of 20th century women in history have never been identified with the success.

I was exposed to this fallacy during my recent visit to Italy. Florence the magnificent city which has produced the best of the best architects and sculptors the world has seen .....has hardly played any role in improving the social status of Women. Irrespective of cultural, temporal and geographical backgrounds, women across all cultures, across all parts of the world, from time to time have been shied away from the world Male has conquered.

Women are either kept insanely indoors or given a supernatural Mother-God status. There has never been a mediocre acceptable status and whenever i try to give them that status i land up in trouble not understanding their emotions and often resulting in a fight and eventually i become the bad boy. I am sorry girls i cant act against the science, it is my nature to confront and your nature to befriend and to find a symbiotic relationship it needs the perfect balance from both of us......

Thanks to the all girls i have fought with you have helped me to understand the science behind it and i am in awe of that very science.

Source:http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/23/brizendine.male.brain/index.html

அது வாழ்வதற்கு....

உருகிய மெழுகில் தீபத்தின் பிம்பம் கண்டேன்
அது ஆடாமல் நிற்பதற்கு சுவாசிப்பதையும் நிறுத்தினேன் 

வைரம் உருவாகியது...

அன்பற்று புதைந்த மனிதமரம் இறுகியது கல்லாய்...
உறுதியும் இறுக்கமும் மாற்றியது அதை வைரமாய்.

Stress and Ancient Indian remedy

I was conversing with a friend of mine who is very much influenced by the western philosophy and the old school thought of learning from one's own mistake without expecting any guidance from parents or teachers. A typical "Gen Y" enthusiast. Our conversation went into an argument mode and eventually both of us agreed that neither of us are going to agree with the other guy's point of view so we started googling.
For a feel good moment after googling a variety of topics like "Gurukula system vs modern day schooling", "joint family vs nuclear family", "saving vs living for the moment", "guiding vs experiencing" etc i could at the end convince him that our Easterners' philosophy (Chinese, Mongolian and Indian) all accept that parental guidance is more apt and plays an important role in the moral building of the child. One physiological factor i would like to share now.

Physiological effect:

Our Brain is composed of so many chemicals and the Neurons are responsible for harnessing these chemicals and converting them into physiological and psychological signals in our body. One such chemical is the Cortisol - a hormone which is released by brain from the HPA axis (Hypothalamus Pituitary Adrenal axis). these hormones are released as a reactive enzyme when the body is encountered with a stressful situation. These are controlled by endocrine glands and pituitary glands of the body which in turn primes our body for instant energy to tackle the situation (eg. running away from a chasing dog or a barking wife).

But prolonged exposure and secretion of this Cortisol have adverse effects in our body. Because Cortisol's main focus is to cut down the energy in the body used for useful work (like memory, knowledge, concentration etc) and channel all those energy to involuntary nerves and senses. So prolonged exposure and release of Cortisol will reduce the capability of Hippocampus (part of brain helping in logical thinking and analyzing) by breaking the neuron linkages and eventually in shrinkage of that part of the brain.

Psychological Treatment:

But this can be avoided (proved be experiments) by practising and training our brain to tackle excessive Cortisol secretion. this is achieved by telling and comforting our brain from young age. how is this achieved? usually Cortisol will be secreted more for infants and children less than 12-14 years whose brain development is continual. When they are experiencing a stressful situation Parents especially mother can calm and confirm them about not having any problems and evading the situation. This way HPA gets a signal or a Cortisol receptor from Limbic system (responsible for emotional activities of the brain). the more the Cortisol receptors, more are the chances of not getting affected by it.
Also the effect gets exponentially multiplied if this information is transferred from one generation to the next getting stored in DNA history and eventually the DNA gets mutated and adapted to stressful situation(unless broken by some catastrophic activity like a death of a partner/kin etc).

This way our guidance and pampering will help our children to develop a resistance for stress.
These are now being identified by the Westerners and are advertising the need for parental guidance for children until they are 18-20.

These were definitely identified by our ancestors (if not atleast with so much technical accuracy- quite possible still). It is amusing how those people knew about all these and they did what exactly was needed without much fuss and much publicising. Probably these would have been stored as a cryptic in some old song sung by a mother to her child as a lullaby.That is how so many scientific facts have been hidden in our songs, culture and customs. We have forgotten the very reason while still hanging on to the ritual. We could restore our longlost glory if and only if we are able to find the reasons for our customs and tradition.....